Ever get that tired/sentimental/nostalgic feeling?

Posted: November 19, 2007 in life
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

eyore.jpgWell after about four days apart, I finally got to go visit my wife for about 24 hours.  And before your mind goes on all kinds of rabit trails, no it’s not because either of us are incarcirated, it’s because she is living with my parents in Regina now until the baby comes as I explained a little while ago.  So since I’ve got home I’ve been in this kind of tired/sentimental/nostalgic mood that hits me sometimes.  I’m sure there’s a lot of good reasons for it coming: tired from preaching yesterday, tired from travelling, baby on the way and life changing, missing my wife which leads to me thinking about and missing all kinds of people, and many other psychological phenomena that I have no business analyzing.  None the less this is where I find myself: looking through picture albums from college, wondering where people are now, being in wonder of where some people managed to be now, listening to the travel mix from the boys Banff 2002 trip, plugging in the “rainshower” air effects air freshener from my dorm room, and sipping my peach beverage as I type.  I even had Stagg chili in a can for supper.

I realize that change is a part of life and you can’t live in the past, but there are definitely still times like this where I look back with pretty rose colored glasses and wish that for even a day or two that I could relive that college life with all my old friends, in my dorm room with every one of my worldly posessions within arms reach, and without all the responsibilities that this pastoral life I’ve chosen brings my way.  Sure there were papers to write, books to read, and RC/RA responsibilities to handle but really, those are easy to gloss over.  Somedays I really tire of expectations.  Somedays I really wish that I just lived an average life with few to no expectations on my from the outside world just being me and living life from day to day without responsibilities.  I know that it’s crazy and impossible, but I still dream about it from time to time.  Like I’ve said before, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the life that I God has blessed me with here and I enjoy ministry, but somedays I think it would be nice to take time off from being pastor Ben and be able to just be Ben the college guy again with my video games, my music, my friends, and my best girl by my side, I’d sing, sing, sing . . . okay sorry I got it confused with the Monty Python Lumberjack song in my ramblings but you get my point.  I miss having friends around, I miss the freedom to just do as I please for the most part, I miss having friends to just do as I please for the most part with, I miss SWONE.

Like I said, there are likely a lot of things precipitating this mood, but it exists none the less.  So I will continue listening to old music, looking at old pictures, smelling old air fresheners, and sipping my peach beverage until it passes.  Ironically, the “We Will Be Young Forever” song from Dance Dance Revolution just came up on the playlist.  So many hours wasted pushing those buttons.  I wish I had those hours to waste all over again.  I’d do exactly the same thing.

  1. bradmoffatt says:

    I have those moments as well. Lately I’ve had this burning desire to go back and play Big Dogs hockey (Whit 3) b/c it was so much fun. There’s nothing like lacing up your skates and playing in sparrow gardens where the teams were bad and our skating was worse.
    Maybe tonight I’ll flip through the yearbooks and drink a tall glass of ice tea and watch a PG movie … just like the olden days.


  2. Jonster says:

    Just the other day I was wearing “my” pair of SWONE sweat pants that you gave to me after someone left them behind one year. They’re comfy, blue, and have orange lettering on the butt. So nice!
    The key to nostalgia, I’ve found, is in learning to embrace the good that once was into the reality of today. What I mean is “Ask for a Playstation 3 for Christmas so we can play games together online.” Trust me, future baby will thank you.
    Oh, and make sure Jenn knows to either have the baby well before Sunday afternoon or a day or two after. Because if it’s born on Grey Cup Sunday, the family (and fate) will force you to name it after one of the Riders.


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