Posts Tagged ‘kids’

The Myth of the One-eyed Child

Posted: October 1, 2013 in kids, life
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As I was having lunch at home to day, the middle child was thrashing about and wondering aloud, “Where de top of my Combatacon Brawoollll?” For those unfamiliar with this particular English dialect, he was looking for the top of a wooden toy tank. I had no idea where the tank was having just arrived home for lunch, but I was quickly informed by Mom – the knower of the placements of all missing things – that Brawoolllll’s top had been confiscated and placed on the appropriate high shelf to protect the baby from injuring himself on the 5 inch long wooden dowel cannon. Initially it all made sense, but then I wondered to I, and aloud to the rest of those gathered, “Seriously, how many one-eyed kids do you know?”
It is the job of any good responsible North American progenitor to protect their progeny from life’s visible hazards. Don’t run with scissors! You’ll trip, you’ll poke an eye out, you’ll go blind! … Don’t throw those stones! You could hit someone in the eye and they’d go blind! … No you can’t use your own knife to cut your food! You’ll slip, you’ll cut your finger off, you’ll go blind … I mean you’ll lose a finger! We’ve all heard it, and I’ve certainly said it. All that being said, where are the teeming hordes of one-eyed and fingerless children? I’ve never in my life met a kid with an eye patch that wasn’t part of an ill conceived Captain Jack Sparrow Halloween costume. So what are we worried about?
I’ll suggest to myself first, and you second that maybe we all take a breath, relax, maybe do some hot yoga and just let kids enjoy life apart from our paranoia once in a while. I’ll still put the baby proof lock on the household cleaners cabinet – I’m not a MONSTER – but maybe if I learn to relax a bit more it will rub off on my kids too. Maybe.

The night before Christmas

Posted: December 25, 2010 in kids, life
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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Every creature is stirring and raising a fuss.
The stockings are hung by the chimney with care,
But sleep hasn’t come yet and that’s just not fair.
From Payton and Devins’ been non stop crying and chatter,
It’s an endless list of wailing matters.
Into my bed I would sure like to crash,
But the sleepless children are unreasonably rash.

I’m sure I could carry this on for a while more but my memory of the rest of the poem is getting foggy now that its 1:40am on December 25th and the boys haven’t let me get any sleep yet between coughing and nightmares. Christmas 2010 is going to be pretty interesting. I hope my parents get here soon.

P.S. – I write this lying alone in Payton’s bed, as the newest plan of attack has him sleeping with Jen in our bed. Brutal.

**This should have posted on Christmas morning, but apparently never made it through the tubes that make up the interwebs to this site.  Blame Al Gore – he invented the thing.

The end of an era

Posted: November 14, 2007 in kids, life
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hourglass.jpgWell, that’s all folks.  That’s it.  It’s done.  It’s the end of an era in my life.  For those of you who are thinking that this is a baby announcement, you are sorely mistaken, but it will be coming soon enough.  No, tonight marks the end of a slightly different, but related, era.  Tonight was the last night that Jenn and I will spend together in Swift Current without a baby.  As of tomorrow Jenn is moving to Regina to live with my parents until the baby comes so she can be closer to the hospital.  This may sound kind of dramatic, but it is a big deal if you really think about it.  We have now lived together for 4 1/2 years without a baby and have spent many days and nights together in the process.  Tonight is the last time we will do that without the responsibility of a baby to take care of.  We didn’t do anything of any great consequence, we just watched her TV shows and snuggled on the bed.  It was an average night for us, but in reality it was far from an average situation.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m really excited for the baby to get here, but at the same time I can’t help but feel a little nostalgic.  I used to really be into nostalgia. (Thankyou Demetri Martin)  So the next couple weeks might be a little lonely for me all alone in Swiftyvillerton, but hopefully our little boy is here sooner than later and both Jenn and the Kramer male child can come home to kick off the new era.