Am I Irrepairably Screwed Up?

Posted: October 17, 2007 in kids, life
Tags: , , , ,

crazyman-01.jpgI realize that I’ve always been a little weird, and that I quite often see the world just a little differently, but am I really as hopelessly deluded as some people would lead me to believe?  Am I really as crazy as that Shining guy over there?  I’m set to become a parent here in about five weeks and I’m not worried about it.  It’s not that I’m not excited about it, I am absolutely overjoyed about it, but it doesn’t scare me.  It doesn’t worry me.  I don’t lose sleep about it.  I don’t spend time mulling it over endlessly wondering, “Whatever shall I do?”  I just don’t think it’s the completely life shattering event that so many people think I should think it is.

 Being a parent will absolutely be a big part of my life, but it’s not going to become my life.  The Ben that currently exists will not cease to be.  I will still love watching football on Sunday afternoons.  I will still try to win that elusive second title in my fantasy football league.  I will still enjoy golfing.  I will still love spending time with my wife, family and friends.  I will still play video games.  I will still enjoy the same music and read Douglas Coupland novels.  I will not cease to exist as I am, and neither will Jenn.  We will just have a great addition to our lives that will make them that much better, not bring them to a crashing halt.  Having a child is not the end of my life, it’s just a great addition to it.  I guess I’m just tired of the people who keep telling me to enjoy my life as it is because it will never be like this again.  I can accept that and that’s fine with me, but I refuse to let one new aspect of my life bring the rest of my life to a tragic end.  Am I really that screwed up here?

I remember when I got married, so many friend and well meaning onlookers tried to tell me that my life would never be the same.  I wouldn’t be able to make my own decisions anymore, I wouldn’t be able to watch football all sunday afternoon anymore, I wouldn’t be able to golf anymore, and that basically “I” would cease to be.  Well, four years into I’m proud to say that those misguided people were dead wrong.  I am still who I am and Jenn has no desire to change that, that’s why she married “me”.  She’s still who she is and that’s why I married “her”.  I think we are both better people because of our relationship but neither of us ceased to be because of the others involvement in our life.  We were important additions to eachother’s life but we did not take over eachother’s life.

I guess I see becoming a parent as being very similar.  It is definitely a change in life, but it doesn’t mean that who I am has to cease to be.  I am who I am and I don’t see it changing (other than growing better) anytime soon.  I look forward to being a dad, but I don’t plan on ceasing to be Ben because of it.

  1. bradmoffatt says:

    I’m loving the new site. There’s nothing better than opening up a web page and seeing your ugly mug staring right at me! I hope you’re doing all right and awaiting the new baby. You will LOVE it. Some of the greatest advice I’ve recieved in regards to children and being a parent is – you can either adjust your life around your child or you can adjust your child around your life. Karen and I still do the same things we did when we were first married, now we just have children along on the journey . And like ray ramono says; children make good caddies! hopefully one of these years we’ll connect


  2. Daryl says:

    Yeah I gotta say that we have added our daughter to alot of things in our lives and that is what makes it fun. However, you will find yourself wanting to change things. Maybe watching less TV because you are needed at a tea party, or getting outside more because your wife just “needs” you to take your child for some daddy bonding time. While I am still Daryl, and I still love the same things, I am also not the same person, because the new Daryl is a dad. And being a father is different. Its like when I got married I became a husband and I had to think about the needs of someone else. I still am Daryl, but I feel like I have changed for the better. We must always be changing…otherwise we will stagnate. But yes, you are right…you will always be Ben and you will always love the same things….the change doesn’t come as much in who you are, but how much time you spend doing things……


  3. Daryl says:

    also, just thought I would point out that your blog template seems abit messed up as the items on the right appear at the very bottom of the page. like your other blog links, music, tags, etc.


  4. mike says:

    For what it’s worth, I’ve changed a bit over the years as my kids have aged. But I’m still me. And I imagine that I would have changed over the years even if I didn’t have kids. It’s all part of life.

    And don’t worry about the fact that you’re not freaking out about the upcoming addition. I don’t think I ever had a freak out. I’m saving that for when my daughter turns 15. I think part of it has to do with how you’re wired. So, don’t think you’re too crazy.

    Anyways, congrats on the upcoming addition!


  5. benyamen says:

    Maybe it’s just your mac Daryl. 😉 I have loaded my blog on a number of different PC’s and it all lays out just as it should. Anyone else been having that problem?


  6. Daryl says:

    i tried to view it on others computers and it did the same thing, however, today it appears to be working


  7. benyamen says:

    I’m glad that it’s up and running for you now. Maybe you were just trying to load the page before while I was in the process of changing some things around.


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